Helping a Child in Grief

Truth
Tell the child about the death as soon as possible
Use clear appropriate language
Provide facts without unnecessary detail
Explain that body no longer works and person will not come back
Reassure
Child did not cause the death
Expect Unexpected
Anger
Curiosity
No Feeling
Laughter
Invite Questions
Repeat answers as often as needed
Takes time, be patient
Explain Plans
Visitation
Funeral
Invite Participation
Model Behavior
Name Feelings
Show Feelings
Anticipate
Extra Attention
Nighttime Fears
Separation Anxiety
Temper Outbursts
Regression
Reassure
Love
Maintain Routines
Home
School
Chores
But be Flexible
Control Effects of
Angry Outbursts
Expression of Feelings
But don’t Over-Control
Inform
Teachers
Others in Contact
Encourage Expression
Play
Art
Writing
Other
Nurture Memories
Talk about dead person
Photos
Memory Book
Special Occasions
Commemorate
Garden
Meal
Charity
Meaning
Understand and Comfort
Expect ReExperiences of Grief
Holidays
Birthdays
Seasons
Do Not
Lie
Use Unclear Euphemisms or Clichés
Force Funeral Participation (Encourage only)
Expect each Child to Grieve the same
Expect verbal expression (Do Expect behavioral)
Expect quick or planned Healing